Thursday, May 5, 2011

True Blue Litmus Test

    Please say whatever comes to mind as I read the following phrases
Houseplants, organic food, latte and hybrid cars
          Pitiful tree huggers

SUVS, ATVs, Snowmobiles, blue smoke and speedboats
          Patriotic traditional values

PBS, NPR, the NY Times and the Union of Concerned Scientists
          Fuzzy-thinking hopey-changies

Arctic oil drilling, hilltop stripping and easing powerplant regulations
          Common sense energy policy

Stem cell research, global warming and endangered species
          Radical environmentalists

Pre-emptive defense, go it alone exceptionist cowboy nation
          Homeland security

Recycling, clean waterways and Earth Day
          gutless wonders

Evangelical officials, sanctity of life and faith-based initiatives
          Compassionate conservatism

Acoustic music, food co-ops and sustainable development
          Morally relativistic flip-floppers

Folksy and homespun, as prepared by donor corporations
          no child left behind

Bicycles, hiking and attention to global opinion
          socialist government health care fiasco

Loud mufflers, country music and exporting jobs overseas
          Clear skies initiative

Nationalized health care, global consensus and private faith
          Failed policies of the past

Fast food, Wal*Mart and a star wars missile defense
          No mistakes and no regrets

Scientifically-bent, museum-supporting and environmentally-concerned
          Libtard tax and spenders

Gun-toting, bible-thumping and full of moral clarity
          Neo-con theoreticians

Silently spiritual, mass transit supporting coalition builders
          Zombie United Nations puppets

NASCAR fans, NFL zealots and off-shored, real income-reduced patriots
          Backbone of America

Free-range meat, old-growth forest and salmon habitat restoration
          Junk science

Creationism, market-based solutions and the hoax of global warming
          God <Better> Bless America

Tax and spend, government healthcare, soft on defense
          Limp-wristed, molly-coddled squishes

Too expensive in money and jobs, requiring bigger government
          Conservative voice of responsibility and maturity

Pro-choice, contra closed minds and pro-diversity
          Godless baby killers

Staying on message, clear visions and controlled information
          Healthy Forest Initiative

Stale idealism, pinched faces and shrill voices
          Disparaged and marginalized minority

God-fearing, giant powerful autos and chemically treated lawns
          Concealed carry evangelists

Pale skin, failed policies and over-complication
          Activist judges

WallStreet-based environmentalism, corporate self-regulation and Hummers
          Neo TheoCons

Animal rights, environmental activism and sustainable development
          Amusingly misguided

Mortgage and spend, hiring of illegales and glorification of cheap imports
          Heroes of capitalism

Lord of the rings, off the grid energy and organic produce
          Lost, Cut-and-Run dreamers

Pre-emptive defense, missile shields and bunker busting nukes
          Military coffin photo censure

Universal healthcare, equal opportunity and government standards
          Tired, creeping socialism

No net loss of wetlands, healthy forest initiative and commercial leases
          Reasoned environmental stewardship

Recycling, kayaking and foreign language learning
          Clueless one-worlders

Global economy, corporate agribusiness and energy security
          Faceless corporate political puppeteers

Habitat restoration, endangered species and roadless area protection
          Unreasoned eco-locoism

Cost cutting, labor exporting and single-minded self-enrichment
          Stalwart captains of industry

Liberal media, hollywood conspiracy and jewish control
          Conservative talkshow fodder

Good old boy accents, evangelical faith and never admitting a mistake
          Preservers of our precious sovereignty

Curbing noise, family planning and support of women’s rights
          Failed policies resurrected

Intelligent design, theocratic leanings and ability to ignore world opinion
          Crusading free world leaders

Moral relativism, mistrust of organized religion and a scientific skepticism
          Unprincipled and amoral sinners

Revealed truth, dominion over nature and the sanctity of marriage
          Knee-jerk reactionaries

Trust in science, aversion to dogma and willingness to suspend judgment

          Moral bankruptcy

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