Simple Techno-Peasants

they tell me what to long for, twenty-four minutes every hour

through my radio and tv, from billboards, in the paper and online as well as on my cell

pounding it constantly and far too obviously into the holes that they have drilled into my head

and though I knowingly laugh and nod, I just keep on buying, anyway

they tell me that they only provide the things I kept on saying I always wanted

based of course, just upon, the high-margin items they chose to show me -

wrapped colorfully in the clever sloganeering of those very slick campaigns:

wasteful but high-profit vehicles designed not to last and shoddily produced

low-risk ironclad leasing deals crafted upon sticky financial fly paper

lifestyle enhancing drugs more expensive to market than to research

costly and unproven supplements fortified with imaginary claims

foods full of salt and sugar, greasy fats, artificial colorings and chemical preservatives

their allies place such products in the formulaic action movies that they feed us

these epics I watch in the places that are owned by their close associates

or they tie them in each month with fast food deal or some pre-paid sports championship

and I commit another plot to memory for bright regurgitation among acquaintances

each and every store in those disposable malls wherein,

I first experience the chaotic bits of meaning they have designed for my life

is owned by the faceless, absent multi-nationalists,

and staffed by the marginalized, the bored and the permanently disaffected

each and every consumer move I make carefully monitored and recorded

by greedy and voyeuristic, high-commission marketeers

and what little thoughts I actually produce are but simply feedback

produced only from the steady stream of nonsense that they feed me

the single mothers cannot nurture their amoral, bastard children

because their own mothers never learned these basic skills

before the childhoods of their own parents ended far too prematurely

in a cycle that now seems to us, as old and natural as time itself

my neighborhood resembles the poultry compounds built by agribusiness

my city like their stinking feedlots, my house identical to the other sties

I move about upon the filth I create in line with the entire diarrheic flock

for only so long as I am capable of working long hours and spending too quickly

I mass together in those chattering prairie dog cubicle colonies,

a piece of voluntary veal, happily lashed down inside my little pen

every day my fashion statement requiring much more thought

than I ever give to the filthy mess I help create

through the commonplace acts of my humble faith-based life

I claim to work so hard to pay off all the debts,

motivated by needs that were artificially induced,

that my relaxation is only found in front of huge TV screens,

thinking very little and moving even less

too unaware to know that fast food kills, or that hot drinks must surely burn

that tobacco causes cancer, or sitting on my ass must make me rot

I should hire a lawyer to go find someone to sue for me,

so that I can pay off all these debts for which there’s nothing left to show

too full of fairytale images implanted by a vampire media

too wedded to the status quo, too tightly bound to manufactured traditions

and the guilt that is such a vital part of their merchant's holidays

to assess or even comprehend the waste produced simply by my existence

and finally as I lay in my own toxic byproducts and listen as I wheeze,

watched over by bored and careless immigrant strangers

being paid by merged and downsized medical conglomerates,

I receive the very best care that my remaining money

and a corporate decision-making team can provide

then it's off to chain-store funeral parlors staffed by those

who care as much as I once did about the boring jobs that they do

selling themes to suit the lifestyle that I am now departing

preying upon my family’s grief using the leverage of their guilt

Left-Wing Initiatives That Threaten The Homeland

‘Left-Wing Democrats 'Resent The Idea of America Being Great' Limbaugh to Hannity on Fox News

Throw out the tax code, re-invigorate the EPA, tax garbage by the pound

Wake the drugged children, challenge the old folks, save instead of spend

Lose some weight, read a few books, stop fiddling with that pointless lawn

Outlaw the too big to fail, legalize the herb, pass taxes on all forms of noise

Dismantle the cubicles, recycle all the SUVs, tax every religious franchise

Don’t sell the president, fire all the representatives, un-constipate the senate

Learn about history, admit our mistakes, grow stronger quietly here at home

Re-invent the corporation, stone the faceless CEOs, forget funeral homes

Clean the rivers, re-invigorate the forests, take back our farmlands

Stop torturing our meat, quit idolizing greed, read, write and count proudly

Blow off Christmas spending, don’t give her diamonds, fuck Valentine’s Day

De-commission real estate, don’t get a new car every year, cook at home

Pay them not to have kids, lynch political advisors, end the 2 party system

Isolate the Middle East, join the world community, govern the US in English

Ignore cowboy evangelicals, quit wasting water, burn little coal but very cleanly

Don’t jerk off in power boats, blow up those jet skis, cripple all the ATVs

Quiet the airplanes, bring back the salmon, don’t let it get so goddamn hot

Cut 90% from the military, quit get-rich-quick scheming, end credit card debt

Ignore Hollywood lives, abolish career politicians, eradicate the lobbyists

Fix the roads, tie their tubes, bring back Yankee ingenuity and engineering

Reduce our population, close the feedlots, enough with the pesticides, already

Preserve the wetlands, out the damn CIA, stop fattening up like show hogs

End reliance on China, don’t build 300 hp hybrids, ban pus-like white bread

Control the tourist industry, curb resort developers, don’t sell off our forests

Make the miners clean up, get ranchers off welfare, end tobacco supports

Build wildlife corridors, create Great Plains National Park, integrate the natives

Get the blacks out of prison, end the war on drugs, stop this firearms farce

Sustain and maintain, build it to last and be fixed, halt the obesity epidemic

Stop multinationals stripmining the oceans, give a little time, slash executive pay

Provide health insurance, get energy independent, either raise kids or work

End government pensions, support our troops, shun current so-called leaders

Put solar and wind on every roof, quit making bogeymen, reduce college tuition

Tax real-estate speculation, wipe out Californication, to hell with Viagra

Promote getting rich slowly, bring back the wolf, save the amphibians

Rethink the megalopolis, adjust to the ecosystem, don’t go off killing for god

Luxury tax botox and liposuction, legalize and regulate prostitution, license all parents

Close corporate nursing homes, institutionalize suicide, don’t get too much sun

Sanctify the slaughterhouses, enjoy lots of exercise, reduce commutes by 25%

Go to jail for hiring illegales, use open source voting machines, end acid rain

Just ignore flag desecration, treat all gods equally, laugh or get on therapy

Don’t legislate morality, don’t think only in sound bites, be quiet when you can

Heavily tax littered items, rethink soft drinks, take time out from the blur

Eat whole grains and nuts, don’t torture dairy cows, end social promotions

Can the music executives, let kids ride their bikes, quit playing world sheriff

Don’t make noise for fun, know our enemies well, demand a sustainable lifestyle

Prevent before curing, plan instead of reacting, think before speaking

Don’t live as corporate sheep, work with your hands, look deep within

Ignore the silly fireworks, maintain the ecosystem, give up a little convenience

Question all wars, don’t work just for vacation, live such that our elders are wise

Turn off the night lights, question the scientists, expose the theologians

Don’t watch corporate news, flog your own blog, get up before sunrise

Listen to the birds, ban shrink wrap, don’t elect any more goddamn lawyers

Let the desert reclaim Las Vegas, bind with the Europeans, always eat together

Recognize real leaders, enjoy the rain, don’t make every place handicap accessible

Quit worshiping money, avoid prescriptions and surgery, cultivate common sense

Privatize abortion, get over getting older, always be learning something new

Maintain your skills, know several languages, quit being so crudely and loudly gay

Encourage organics, organize electronically, quit being afraid to amend the constitution

Be proud of clean air, jail animal abusers, sell the Harley before it’s too late

Cut the fatty foods, don’t speak with one voice, make sense for yourself

Don’t grow fat and weak, learn other religions, travel widely and listen

Undermine globalization, surround the rivers with cleansing trees, listen to the thunder

Understand ethnic conflict, take care of your teeth, don’t export weapons

Curb the Pentagon, make flood zones into parks, cut off their dumb neckties

Join efficiency with comfort, don’t subsidize corn syrup, clean up our lakes

Don’t tax break Big Timber, silence the diesels, untangle the conglomerates

Reject cultural imperialism, know how to do the math, wake up the Texans

Quite jiggering voting districts, downsize big sports, play your own music

Realize that golf and golf courses suck, ban tanning salons, love more than you hate

Re-invent nursing homes, watch as people die, obtain your own basic medical skills

Know when to shut up, carefully consider your opinions, enjoy the quiet rain

Question your everlasting soul, know your priorities, don’t eat in your car

Get off of the cellphone, turn down your music, buy on the internet at home

Screw expensive weddings, walk, run, paddle, bicycle, sail, board and ski

Reduce your footprint, know yourself, organize your thoughts, keep still often

Follow the money, don’t buy the oft-repeated lie, consume within reason

Count those given up looking as unemployed, add a 50% gas tax, learn to sleep

Invest Social Security taxes, get out of the Middle East, penalize outsourcing

Stop subsidizing terrorists, don’t try to buy your kid’s friendship, just listen a little

End the dental scam, throw away the cigarettes, don’t idle in those stupid trucks

File the bible under fiction, chainsaw the billboards, talk with the Cetaceans

Globalize the power grid, don’t sell land mines, end chemical warfare

Encourage organics, subsidize solar research, decrease the human population

Look at the war dead, appreciate clean water, just admit your stupid mistakes

Relearn manufacturing, let fossilized automakers die, simply ignore the NFL

Just shut the fuck up, step away from the vehicle, welcome death in its time

Downsize your houses, ban omnibus bills, don’t ever take a single payday loan

Renew your faith, empty the mega-churches, don’t ever demand that ‘God Bless America’

The Tao Of Our Demise

 “When the palace is magnificent, the fields are filled with weeds, and the granaries are empty. ” ― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

when the winning candidate always spends the most, buying up the votes

people see the arranged marriage of free enterprise to the democratic process

thusly, in relation to their own humble way of living,

do they learn to accept the ultimate power of the almighty dollar

when the dealmakers gain too much influence

the mass of people grow uneasy

they sense the dissipation of their masters

as horses smell the impending storm upon the wind

when the citizens have no places that they have always known,

because all is in the chaos of construction and migration

they grow skittish and unruly

like wild herding animals near a raging fire

when the people litter carelessly, having no connection to the land

their feeling for the Tao is certainly fouled as well

but during those briefest moments before the crash

any significance is lost, in the noise and confusion

when one alone stoops to pick up anothers’ litter

it is a hard thing to do

for plastic trash far outlasts our bones

as well as any possible thought behind our actions

when the people do not honor the food that they eat

animals live like prisoners and die robbed of their grace

and the land where they are fattened is polluted by their runoff

yet some will still be straining to hear sounds of missing songbirds

when the frogs are disappearing and growing extra legs

parents study their children with extra care:

arms unable to protect,

brains unwilling to accept

when a country takes its food shrink-wrapped tight in plastic,

which is thoughtlessly and immediately discarded

and its commercials require more thinking than its paid infotainment

its strength is thus diminished and its future is in doubt

yet this is not painful to those who heave mindlessly within the throng

when the children learn to unwrap all gifts with an amazing speed,

then consume, discard and walk away without a thought

it should not be long before they absorb the truth that

they, too, are surely, to be shortly cast aside

when the people worship only what is new

their offspring try to invent an entire culture on their own

but quickly they grow old and must blame it all upon themselves

when the country merely follows the latest in manufactured fads

its cities cannot last

and its old have no roads to travel

and the young have no one that they can turn to

when it is common knowledge that the old are of no use

the young and beautiful, nonetheless, cannot see

their own lives must also very quickly end in the same purposeless emptiness

when the people are always far too busy

with trivial tasks that they must soon forget

and in-depth news is unimportant and history is unlearned

their rush is towards a future filled with old mistakes

when people reach the end of life in such a place as this

there is a sense that the road where they have traveled

was not a winding path leading to a peaceful destination

but an endless superhighway where they've broken down for good

when tourism has become a simple extractive industry

natural beauty becomes a resource to be efficiently exploited

condos and strip malls and cheap plastic icons sprout up very quickly

until the magic is depleted and the workers move away

when the country imports poor and ignorant, young human beings

to do work considered to be too menial for real citizens

the dignity of labor is never learned by its children

and empty media sales values are all that they retain

when the ones that we listen to

we consider to be at least halfway insane

we have forced our lives into making sense

by believing far more than we try to understand

when people ask what a tiger

has ever done for them

it is easy to internalize that

we require no major course corrections

when endless sprawl and traffic jams

are considered simply as the norm

it makes real sense that one more bit of litter

does not matter anywhere, anymore

when jobs and consumption, spoiled children and entertainment

guide all of our blurry actions

then appear the gaping inconsistencies found in our thinking

that guide this accelerating rush towards deserved self-extinction

when an education is just for loosers

and getting rich by any means is good

we have no reason to be surprised

by corporate fraud and collusion

or roving gangs of illiterate and amoral youth

when sex is used to sell everything from

cat food to car parts

newspapers still report that our brave police righteously arrest

women who must sell themselves to feed their fatherless children

when alcohol destroys the lives

of millions every year

beer distributors grow rich and become civic leaders

while pot smokers passively go to jail and rot

when black men go to prison for years

for stealing a car or selling a hit of meth

mealy-mouthed, pale white corporate parasites

get away Scot-free for ruining countless lives and stealing millions

when we say we still believe that

all men are created equal

the people watch as we rush in military aid

to those who live where coveted resources still pertain

when highly skilled positions are all moved away from our shores

and Wal*Mart wires our hard-earned money to foreign bank accounts:

where will the skilled illegales,

who do the real work that we once understood,

find jobs in the bright future of this, our glorious land?

when the scientists and engineers,

craftsmen and computer coders

are all outsourced and only the ignorant and lazy majority remains

loyal subjects pause to ask: who will hook up the lights for me?

when the oil is all sucked down

and the Arabs ride camels back to their fly-ridden sheikdoms

and all the motorized wheels stop their turning

our sacred mommies will puzzle over getting the kids to the mall

when actors and the grandsons of politicians get elected

and money buys the office

some ask: why not just count the contributions raised

instead of bothering to vote?

when city governments compete for destination shopping centers

using new sales taxes to finance their ever-more bloated budgets

and more houses mean more property taxes for their counties to spend

citizens observe as these trusted public servants

build our legacy for the future under the holy rubric of local control

when the people view all foreigners as simple, stupid and irrelevant

and the measure of a nation is taken through a gunsight

there is no contradiction that your clothing and electronics come from china

your cars from japan and your computers are controlled from india

when our leaders pray for guidance in making important state decisions

and terrorist enemies invoke their own gods in support of holy jihad

all those of franchised faith heed the calls to prayer in peace,

secure in the knowledge that their own one true god will not ever forsake them

when the people scoff as fuzzy-thinking tree-huggers try to run amok

and see that their plans are too expensive and will cost too many jobs,

yet provide little value in their own search for exciting entertainment,

then has their society been divorced from the web of life that sustained it

when the children realize that they were raised up to be as ignorant as vegetables

and that all the best resources have been consumed,

while fouling and contaminating the majority of nature to nurture them,

they can sigh while carrying firewood and water barefoot, but still faithful

when political correctness yields gains for passive-aggressive lampreys

note clearly that the weak and submissive have not been advanced

yet the strong, the independent and the productive see once again

the fact that their labors only benefit those truly glib and venal suck-ups

when the evangelicals rule the scientists

while their children are paused in violent video games to take their meds

the corporations set the agenda based upon their short term needs

as all the merry little dancers skip about in this rapidly advancing twilight

Thanks For Watching

Sure, you can track my online porno patterns, if it helps support our brave boys overseas

Go ahead and analyze patterns in the cheap Chinese imports that I buy down to the Wal*Mart

Maybe you should prepare a scatter diagram of where their dogs are crapping on my lawn

You can map the links to the terror cell that my mom and I belong to

You can decrypt the messages in those endless health anecdotes that we are exchanging

Are you analyzing the contents of our pantry for evidence of foreign influence?

You can eavesdrop on all those mindless text messages that the gamers send

Maybe you enjoy sifting reams of email spam, just as much as I do

I am an innocent good citizen with nothing to hide so you can watch me on the pot

You should check out those old people next door struggling to have sex

How about that ugly teenager squeezing pimple pus right onto the mirror?

Probably should keep an eye on that drunk moron asleep on the sidewalk

Want to watch me toss my soiled underwear into the dirty clothes?

You are writing down all the stupid reality shows that she watches religiously, I take it

Are you correlating my hair loss with my weight gain and increasing blood pressure?

put a webcam in the apartment of them 8 Mexicans who work so hard all the time

I could send in some suspicious videos I shot with my cell phone down at the mall

I know that you never get excited over any of the nudity you might accidentally uncover

Hopefully you’re keeping every instant message ever sent, until the end of time

Are you getting everything the voices tell me that I absolutely need to do?

We admire your dumpster diving to procure non-electronic evidence

You can read my aunt’s blog about how she got sick on her dream Caribbean cruise

Come on over and I’ll tell you all about my adventures with our little grandsons

Are you putting samplers in the urinals that also read our implanted chips?

Go ahead and track my fast food trash if it will help in stopping terrorism

I am so very flattered that, at least, you would take this time to parse my work

You must audit how much gas my neighbor wastes enriching Islamic radicals

I’ve seen people peeing in public restrooms and not even washing their hands

With this work we can finally track the vast number of alien abductions

Are you breaking the code used by environmental groups on their commie calendars?

No one has paid so much attention to me since I was a screaming, snot-nosed kid

Thanks for watching, you can call me anytime, if you have a question

I could log on and submit reports or even send in some fresh stool samples

Are you getting my kids endless whining for fast food and new electronic gizzies?

Do you believe how often my wife and I have the same old tired arguments?

Set me up with a wire and I will help unmask fat convenience store clerks for you

You really need a way to monitor these conversations with our personal saviors

We’ve got to get a handle on these environmental terrorist sympathizers

I’ll scan in my daughter’s diary and send it over in electronic format

Did you get the color video of my latest colonoscopy?

You are correlating the anal swabs from the victims of sexual abuse, I know

I’m not sure your keyword searches will recognize all this unpatriotic satire

Citizens have no right to privacy but national security requires the highest in secrecy

I find it arousing that you take the time to focus in on my personal life

Can I get a copy of the suspicious actions of my neighbor’s young wife in bed?

Don’t bother with a court order to sit outside my apartment in your van

Come right on in and have a cup of coffee and I’ll tell you all about my arthritis

There’s a guy down the street with an unpatriotic liberal bumper sticker on his car

It is real thrilling to be part of the fighting in our holy war on terrorism

Want to see the pictures of those foreigners I saw up in Yellowstone park?

We better keep a close eye on abortionists and contraception providers, too

We should bring back prayer in school and then make sure everyone does it right

It’s all so very exciting it gives me a wondrous vicarious thrill

The wife and I will keep an eye out for suspicious packages on our street

I’m stepping up for implanted chips, national IDs and omnipresent video cams

I want to be your ever-watchful eyes and always eavesdropping ears

Freedom requires eternal vigilance so I thank you for your constant surveillance

The Tao Of Government Overreach

The best leaders are those their people hardly know exist. - Tao Te Ching

when the government agenda is set by shortsighted corporations

which have bought and paid for all of the elections

people see for whom rule by and for the people really works out to be

when the government overturns as failed and outdated

the policies of its immediate predecessors

people see just how quickly their best interests may be re-interpreted

when government employees reap benefits unavailable to the masses

yet are no longer fit to work at normal jobs

people sense the presence of strangers from alien institutions

when overpaid consultants and executives buzz like busy bees

between lobbyists and legislators

people observe the best and the brightest in all their wondrous glory

when governments compete for tax dollars from any new development

to finance their ever more bloated budgetary needs

citizens know where to look for guidance in creating a sustainable society

when homeland security is conducted behind utmost secrecy

within the worlds largest bureaucracy

people understand that the truly patriotic have nothing left but to fear

when the government makes a war against all the world's better judgment

the people must be helped to discern

morally obligatory pre-emptive defense from openly evil and naked aggression

when the government seeks to rip its last precious oil reserves

from its remotest remaining wilderness

people witness firsthand how conservatives practice conservation

when the government excludes SUVs, pick-up trucks and vans

from mileage and pollution standards

voters plainly see the finest governance that corporate money can buy

when 900000 pages of deliberately obfuscated tax code gibberish

funds a vast so-called industry of overpaid pig latin interpreters

people again see the wisdom of electing lawyers as their leaders

when conservative government leaders rail ignorantly against junk science

and criticize fuzzy math

the people feel free to belittle anything more complex than the average action movie

when the government tries to prod a sluggish consumer economy

by offering yet another prod of unfunded kickstart

people bend and submit once more to the financial electrodes

when the government's focus is always upon the latest poll

in advance of the next upcoming election

people do not miss the foresightful forefathers that they never learned of at all

when the government official tells God he must bless the country after every speech

and asks us all to add our prayers

good people sleep all the better knowing that He is on their side

when the government declares that every other nation

is simply either with us or against us

people know that even heathen foreigners will listen to simple reason

when the government encourages conglomerates to buy up all the media

and the vapid so-called news is the same on every channel

people scoff at the notion of an ever-vigilant press which guards their civil rights

when the government taxes cigarettes almost enough to make the smokers quit

then subsidizes tobacco farmers and pays Medicaid for lung diseases

people know that somewhere all these actions must make sense together

when governments sell more in weapons than they provide for development

and insurgents can get guns more easily than mothers can find flour

people are glad to note that their leaders pray humbly for lasting peace, every night

when one government spends more on its military than all the rest together

people can understand that increasing ignorance and poverty

is a slightly sad but necessary effect, of protecting our own Traditional Family Values

when the government speaks openly of might making right

while destroying societies to spread freedom in wars of liberation

be sure that the world worships in joyful wonder, the image of its only super power

when the government subsidizes its chosen religious groups

which discriminate based upon belief

those alienated mull upon the motto "one nation under God"

when the government takes away the knitting needles

from frightened grandmothers flying off to family holidays

wise men know our travel is made safer from ruthless terrorist killers

when the government always makes very little sense at all

the people find a consistency that they can come to rely upon

and with which the meaninglessness of their own lives dovetails very well

Safety Bleating Within The Herd Of Consumers

how they struggled like salmon to negotiate the currents of trendy styles

they quoted richly and freely from various movies and sitcoms

how they practiced their lines like Shakespearean actors

reciting advertisements and slang phrases endlessly to each other

how they fled like the wildebeest when their leaders were startled

stampeding once and again from gizmo to gadget

how their consumer assemblages changed like rainbowed chameleons

as they threw down and picked up in seemingly-chaotic but instinctive patterns

how they continually sought the hyperbolized New and Exciting

always in the context of their blindered and literalist, neo-con xenophobia

how they raised their little muzzles from their cubicle burrows all alike

sifting the complex breezes of hyper-consumerism

how they moved on without concern leaving their droppings behind

rendering unfit what they no longer wanted

how they bleated like piglets for sugar, salt and fat

trying to assuage the emptiness that they mistook for hunger

how they piddled and side-barred until they lay in their own wastes

passing away while myopically planning only to rejoin the consumer race

how they huddled together as media shadows danced on their walls

and clever adverts crushingly drowned the quiet voice of the earth

how they saddled themselves with surreal financial burdens

chasing lame illusions which were bored endlessly, deep into their skulls

how they lied to themselves and boasted emptily to each other

swimming in a twisting bait ball, trying not to look either forward or back

how they shopped too close together for cheap imported goods

bleating quite foolishly as the good jobs gradually disappeared

how they wasted with gusto both water and oil

fouling the air with their driving and poisoning the land to grow food

how they groveled like fawning dogs for government subsidies

meanwhile ranting on about personal responsibility and fiscal conservancy

how they twitched and cried out in their uneasy sleep

not quite remembering dreams of things they would never dare face

how they struggled to define themselves within the vast herd

and savagely attacking en masse, those daring to differ

how they continued denying their place in some squishy balance of nature

blithely assured by media leaders that more research was needed

how they quickly grew impatient and bored when the details were gone into

yet avidly dismissed out of hand scrupulous research as junk science and fuzzy math

how they squirmed with discomfort when they glimpsed contradictions to their faith

diving back with alacrity into the warm and sustaining illusions of their media hosts

how they portrayed each other as intelligent creatures

echoing pre-digested soundbites back and forth until, finally, each one fell silent

how they boasted of their supreme natural moral authority

never bothering with the lessons their forefathers had left them

how they condescendingly viewed those fools in the rest of the world

as they were overtaken in education and human understanding

how they tripped over each other in individual quests for the same illusion

searching for spiritual fulfillment within the noise and dust of the swarm

how they all clucked in avian tones at each new atrocity

always convinced that, at last, the bottom must have been reached

how they reacted without thought, all in the same direction

like a large school of small fish when a cloud throws a shadow

how they often festered inside, nursing many small grudges

then lashing violently out, but still always wanting to be in

how they fell asleep at the wheel on a road straight and wide

woke up in horror just upon striking the tree

how they carefully deluded each other as to the nature of their fate

willfully ignoring the great empty void to which they all must return

how they conscientiously wasted each waking hour and avoided all introspection

then, far too late with feeble excuses, tried to invent some kind of accounting

Second Class God

He is said to be a perpetual also-ran in Their contests of wisdom and power

But, He notes, they count on Him to help gin up Their own wider support

Though He, too, has wondrous plans for us, they may be overruled in the end

Our faith, as such, is a wager with a higher payout but greater potential loss

Our God is demonstrably not the greatest in the field of monotheistic saviors

His works even praise the truth and righteousness of His holy competition

He bids us keep an open mind and to find something better should it appear

This second class God admits of no perfection, often stumbling on His way

We overlook that His omniscience is not quite what the majority demand

It is painful to hear how glowingly others describe their own true faiths

His mercy is not quite infinite and often He may not be everywhere, all at once

Nonetheless, He permits us to also take a measure of pride from our beliefs

Sometimes it happens that truer religions cast down our sacred temples

Our faith cannot always sustain us but He will not refund us our pledged eternal souls

His demands are not as stringent but His rewards are not federally insured

He might have been around forever but doesn’t talk of the end of the world

He is, by necessity, not extremely strident on this false idol business

The temples that He demands might not satisfy a discriminating believer

His pomp and ceremony, though coordinated, are perhaps not rich enough

His blind, halt and sick have a less than average miraculous recovery rate

Mediocre fund-raising results are often cited as evidence of His weakness

His promises and threats are not quite colorful enough for many of real faith

A majority do not find his Creation Myth provides a truly satisfying spin

His disinterest in government ties cuts off a rich source of support

Some say He exists only as a teaching instrument for the greater gods

His share on the great pie chart of souls is only steady, possibly even decreasing

His Word may need to be updated for today’s new generation of seekers

His handlers say his universal love and understanding may lead to ambiguity

It is whispered that He does not rage violently enough against His heathen enemies

Our faith does especially poorly in those lands of great wealth and power

His tolerance may be a turn-off to those with the need for black and white solutions

He has been criticized for not demanding or answering prayer often enough

A less-than-clear permit to dominion of the earth has hurt His numbers

Word on the street has it that His congregations may be ripe for a takeover

Perception that He might allow animals in heaven has raised many eyebrows

He may not be the choice of those who demand only the finest in a Savior