Left-Wing Initiatives That Threaten The Homeland

‘Left-Wing Democrats 'Resent The Idea of America Being Great' Limbaugh to Hannity on Fox News

Throw out the tax code, re-invigorate the EPA, tax garbage by the pound

Wake the drugged children, challenge the old folks, save instead of spend

Lose some weight, read a few books, stop fiddling with that pointless lawn

Outlaw the too big to fail, legalize the herb, pass taxes on all forms of noise

Dismantle the cubicles, recycle all the SUVs, tax every religious franchise

Don’t sell the president, fire all the representatives, un-constipate the senate

Learn about history, admit our mistakes, grow stronger quietly here at home

Re-invent the corporation, stone the faceless CEOs, forget funeral homes

Clean the rivers, re-invigorate the forests, take back our farmlands

Stop torturing our meat, quit idolizing greed, read, write and count proudly

Blow off Christmas spending, don’t give her diamonds, fuck Valentine’s Day

De-commission real estate, don’t get a new car every year, cook at home

Pay them not to have kids, lynch political advisors, end the 2 party system

Isolate the Middle East, join the world community, govern the US in English

Ignore cowboy evangelicals, quit wasting water, burn little coal but very cleanly

Don’t jerk off in power boats, blow up those jet skis, cripple all the ATVs

Quiet the airplanes, bring back the salmon, don’t let it get so goddamn hot

Cut 90% from the military, quit get-rich-quick scheming, end credit card debt

Ignore Hollywood lives, abolish career politicians, eradicate the lobbyists

Fix the roads, tie their tubes, bring back Yankee ingenuity and engineering

Reduce our population, close the feedlots, enough with the pesticides, already

Preserve the wetlands, out the damn CIA, stop fattening up like show hogs

End reliance on China, don’t build 300 hp hybrids, ban pus-like white bread

Control the tourist industry, curb resort developers, don’t sell off our forests

Make the miners clean up, get ranchers off welfare, end tobacco supports

Build wildlife corridors, create Great Plains National Park, integrate the natives

Get the blacks out of prison, end the war on drugs, stop this firearms farce

Sustain and maintain, build it to last and be fixed, halt the obesity epidemic

Stop multinationals stripmining the oceans, give a little time, slash executive pay

Provide health insurance, get energy independent, either raise kids or work

End government pensions, support our troops, shun current so-called leaders

Put solar and wind on every roof, quit making bogeymen, reduce college tuition

Tax real-estate speculation, wipe out Californication, to hell with Viagra

Promote getting rich slowly, bring back the wolf, save the amphibians

Rethink the megalopolis, adjust to the ecosystem, don’t go off killing for god

Luxury tax botox and liposuction, legalize and regulate prostitution, license all parents

Close corporate nursing homes, institutionalize suicide, don’t get too much sun

Sanctify the slaughterhouses, enjoy lots of exercise, reduce commutes by 25%

Go to jail for hiring illegales, use open source voting machines, end acid rain

Just ignore flag desecration, treat all gods equally, laugh or get on therapy

Don’t legislate morality, don’t think only in sound bites, be quiet when you can

Heavily tax littered items, rethink soft drinks, take time out from the blur

Eat whole grains and nuts, don’t torture dairy cows, end social promotions

Can the music executives, let kids ride their bikes, quit playing world sheriff

Don’t make noise for fun, know our enemies well, demand a sustainable lifestyle

Prevent before curing, plan instead of reacting, think before speaking

Don’t live as corporate sheep, work with your hands, look deep within

Ignore the silly fireworks, maintain the ecosystem, give up a little convenience

Question all wars, don’t work just for vacation, live such that our elders are wise

Turn off the night lights, question the scientists, expose the theologians

Don’t watch corporate news, flog your own blog, get up before sunrise

Listen to the birds, ban shrink wrap, don’t elect any more goddamn lawyers

Let the desert reclaim Las Vegas, bind with the Europeans, always eat together

Recognize real leaders, enjoy the rain, don’t make every place handicap accessible

Quit worshiping money, avoid prescriptions and surgery, cultivate common sense

Privatize abortion, get over getting older, always be learning something new

Maintain your skills, know several languages, quit being so crudely and loudly gay

Encourage organics, organize electronically, quit being afraid to amend the constitution

Be proud of clean air, jail animal abusers, sell the Harley before it’s too late

Cut the fatty foods, don’t speak with one voice, make sense for yourself

Don’t grow fat and weak, learn other religions, travel widely and listen

Undermine globalization, surround the rivers with cleansing trees, listen to the thunder

Understand ethnic conflict, take care of your teeth, don’t export weapons

Curb the Pentagon, make flood zones into parks, cut off their dumb neckties

Join efficiency with comfort, don’t subsidize corn syrup, clean up our lakes

Don’t tax break Big Timber, silence the diesels, untangle the conglomerates

Reject cultural imperialism, know how to do the math, wake up the Texans

Quite jiggering voting districts, downsize big sports, play your own music

Realize that golf and golf courses suck, ban tanning salons, love more than you hate

Re-invent nursing homes, watch as people die, obtain your own basic medical skills

Know when to shut up, carefully consider your opinions, enjoy the quiet rain

Question your everlasting soul, know your priorities, don’t eat in your car

Get off of the cellphone, turn down your music, buy on the internet at home

Screw expensive weddings, walk, run, paddle, bicycle, sail, board and ski

Reduce your footprint, know yourself, organize your thoughts, keep still often

Follow the money, don’t buy the oft-repeated lie, consume within reason

Count those given up looking as unemployed, add a 50% gas tax, learn to sleep

Invest Social Security taxes, get out of the Middle East, penalize outsourcing

Stop subsidizing terrorists, don’t try to buy your kid’s friendship, just listen a little

End the dental scam, throw away the cigarettes, don’t idle in those stupid trucks

File the bible under fiction, chainsaw the billboards, talk with the Cetaceans

Globalize the power grid, don’t sell land mines, end chemical warfare

Encourage organics, subsidize solar research, decrease the human population

Look at the war dead, appreciate clean water, just admit your stupid mistakes

Relearn manufacturing, let fossilized automakers die, simply ignore the NFL

Just shut the fuck up, step away from the vehicle, welcome death in its time

Downsize your houses, ban omnibus bills, don’t ever take a single payday loan

Renew your faith, empty the mega-churches, don’t ever demand that ‘God Bless America’

Rigged Agenda Of The Deplorables - SAD!

Joyfully dedicated to the faithful blind, dancing carefree, behind their blind Christian Sharia piper

nobody will ever disagree,

our wondrous offspring deserve the finest in free-market education

everybody wants crimes against humanity brought to justice,

but, our own citizens will not be judged by some kangaroo world court

everyone can easily see

reckless government social spending mortgages all our futures

no one today seriously denies,

all men created anywhere else, are certainly created equal - equally poor

we are all at least subconsciously aware

democratic majority rule applies at home but not necessarily to puppet allies overseas

it goes without any rational consideration necessary whatsoever,

we must spend more and more on dEfense, each and every year

nobody would be so foolish as to campaign upon

over-population being an issue that should loom large upon our radar

it is a concept just as simple as apple pie:

backward people need only a little military nudge towards corporate democracy

even the very simplest among us see,

exporting jobs will make all our lives better in the end

try and find anyone who does not agree,

rash action on climate change is an unproven and expensive liberal plot

any decent and upright citizen knows,

our government servants need to talk privately to do-it-yourself saviors for political guidance

anyone with half a brain can tell,

a left-leaning conspiracy controls the fake corporate media

nobody supports the nightmare of chemical weapons,

yet we cannot sign a treaty restricting our right to use those we already have

caring mothers everywhere agree,

infants should not suck diesel fumes in bassinets, yet many of the poor still do

loving fathers, uncles, aunts all want to protect their precious childre,

yet coal-fired power plants still patriotically rain mercury into their growing brains

it has been shown by the policies of trusted global financial institutions,

ever-growing universal debt is in the best of both personal and national interests

it is as plain as the nose upon your benighted face,

we are god’s chosen people, standing above all on that shining hill

those with even the barest notion of reality see

too much science and math education destroys a man’s common sense

a large majority of strict constitutionalist opinion leaders realize,

loud mufflers on pickup trucks are a financed expression of personal freedom

it is a folksy, homespun verity that the working man votes conservative

and is rewarded with entitlement cuts right before his job is offshored forever

even simple fools know,

our sacred rights include carelessly tossing fast food packaging in our noisy wake

the average outsourced NASCAR fan admires our leader’s faith,

even as his own sons are sent overseas & his real income falls but the rich cover their assets

nobody cares for the sight of land mine victims,

but a world treaty to control them undermines our precious national sovereignty

according to trusted politicians, exported jobs, crumbled infrastructure and failed education

does not diminish the bright future of our blessed land

it is widely recognized by marketing opinion makers that:

repetition can mold paid soundbites into truths which we should hold to be very self-evident

any truly robust NFL fan of big men in spandex will gladly shout,

all that green environmental bullshit just wastes a real men’s time

any child knows there is a great difference between

a faceless corporation and the genial politician it has contracted with for political services

most all honest working people understand,

jobs and people rank above this vegan nonsense about some kind of a sustainable society

conventional wisdom spun by cosmetically-enhanced, fast-talking experts has proven for sure,

a person or a country must stand either with us or be against us

intellectual evangelicals accept as revealed truth this simple fact:

man takes dominion over all the beasts, since only he is possessed of an everlasting soul

phony news and slick advertising admit of not a hint,

our lifestyles are not sustainable for those few generations yet to come

it is seldom seriously questioned by conscientious conservatives that:

environmental conservation is an optional and minor virtue of limited and dubious value

it is accepted without requiring any serious thought at all,

the fish from our lakes and rivers are not safe for us to eat

there is simply no discussion,

it is the divine right of developers to mold our future in their greedy and leveraged image

it hardly bears mentioning,

the least of Hollywood epics is better entertainment than most any book

there is no argument about these facts:

animals have no souls, legal rights or places in our Father’s heaven

everyone knows,

one needn’t put aside a great deal in order to truly enjoy a richly-deserved Happily Ever After

it is widespread practice,

to finance the newest exciting mass whim instead of boringly saving for tomorrow

we obviously agree even with our most hated enemies,

faith in some one true god must be our guide in all political decisions

there is no debate over the propriety of this tacit axiom:

corporate fathers are the fingertips on the blind hand of the sacred free market

it is generally accepted and considered a non-starter,

this fictional, so-called mass extinction could only come at the hand of god, never man

it is just common sense that rich investors from out of town

can best exercise local control over zoning and development

who would argue with the right of the party in power

to gerrymander voting districts, thereby ensuring its own continued re-election

it simply makes sense that mafia gambling on Indian reservations will eventually be

a long-term solution to native american substance abuse, unemployment and poverty

an unquestionably good business practice is to merge, downsize, reduce benefits

and pensions,export, outsource, collect huge bonuses and escape to hidden and locked compounds

no one will deny that our brave leaders must stay the course without cutting and running,

and that their motives are pure and their evidence untainted

it is a pattern seen often in the history that we have so blithely ignored,

the proudly ignorant and accidentally privileged, head us blindly towards a fall

nobody argues the government’s need to maintain its absolutely secret when spying for our

security, since our constitution provides no right to individual privacy

everybody accepts the fact that our boys sacrifices must not be in vain

despite the illegal, immoral, deceitful preemptive wars of liberation ordered by their leaders

it’s just ordinary common sense,

it would be a serious mistake to make too many changes, especially all at once

Flag-Waving Nationalists

Self-sacrificing petroleum patriots offer to brave so-called arctic wastelands

          to harvest the oil beneath its unproductive surface

This to help us to gain our vital energy independence and for export, as well

Drilling for god and country they can bring us a few sips

          to be guzzled and forgotten on one of our many wasteful, unnecessary trips

and take away forever anyone's chances

          to ever see one more of the few remaining bits of unspoiled habitat

Wise patriots tell us of our duty to consume

          and to ride in ever larger vehicles to the newest malls

and of the moral value of imported plastic decal flags upon our foreign cars

Caring patriots protect our economy from junk scientific theories

          Knowing conservation is simply a lifestyle choice, much like being gay

Their wisdom protects us from expensive action until all the facts are in

          They nobly save us money and jobs from that liberal plot

they have recast as climate change

Industry-oriented patriotic lobbyists draft policy with wise company executives

          Making sure to grease the skids of progress with cash contributions

Thus do we move forward in this land of faith-based democracy

          By-invitation-only, laboring in secret behind safely closed and soundproof doors

Practical patriots discern the nonsense in scientific discourse

          And lead the way in discrediting studies counter to their policies

using the twin lodestones of moral beliefs and campaign donations

          Framing the discourse of scientific research as a political debate

Helping our dumbed-down people to grasp the complex issues that we face

Morally focused patriots justify their actions with their faith

          Having god beside them on the podium grants them an otherwise-lacking inner strength

enabling them to distinguish black from white by casting out the gray

          Leaving them with unshakeable faith in the righteousness of their cause

Pontificating patriots should be listened to as they describe our many enemies

          Never asking us to examine our own hallowed lifestyles

Never questioning the correctness of the great causes which we champion

Militarily-oriented patriots ensure we are ready for overwhelming pre-emptive defense

          Annually stoking the war machine with ever-increasing billions

Ready to defend shopping malls against the incoming missiles

          Unable to capture disheveled ragheads in dirty clothes and sandals living in caves

Perceptive patriots help us to discern the truth from all the lies

          the right thing from devilish left-wing deception,

The righteousness of the measured and true course that we follow

          from the godless rhetoric of the heathen foreign idolaters

Great patriots, after consulting their moral compasses, inform us that

          we are either with them or, at our own great peril, against them

and that God blesses our lofty moral rectitude as he smiles down upon us

Responsible patriots trip over each other adopting tougher stances

          Each boasting how they will spend more money to kill and to destroy

Pumping up the bogeyman who wants to eat the children in your homes

          And exalting a ‘Defense’ budget greater than the entire world combined

True patriots free up our natural resources for holy commercial development

          protecting us from the evils of a pernicious creeping socialism

Let us thank them for the steadfast nature of this selfless vigilance

Larger than life patriots smile down upon us from all forms of the media,

          Guaranteed a place in our collective heart

Promoted by those wise contributing conglomerates

who provide all the information a good society should ever need

Discredited patriots no longer play roles in our wondrous progress

          Their actions erased from soundbite media history

At least until their party swings into power once again

Patriotic analytical wonks tell us that business profitability is increased

          and prices lowered by cutting benefits and outsourcing jobs overseas

while, at the same time, arguing just as strongly, it appears

          that increasing energy efficiency and improving conservation

are simply non-factors with regards to the economy of our great society

Corporate patriots help steer the ship of state

          Bravely offshoring ingredients and keeping wages low

Signing memoranda sending research and production overseas

          Stoutly maintaining the hallowed nature of free enterprise

by pumping up the price of their stock for yet another whole quarter

          thus ensuring more criminally-unearned multi-million dollar bonuses

Down home patriots drive loud pickups and watch NASCAR on TV

          Take their lessons from the bible and don’t read too goddamn much

They defend their rights to ignorance and a share of our forests

          They responsibly vote for those who raised their taxes,

helped un-insure them and approved sending their jobs far away

Here's That Awful, UnHidden AntiFa Agenda

Stop this insane, ever-increasing spending on weapons, war and killing

Use war money in an all-out effort to obtain clean energy independence

End the spiraling costs of the phony charade called free market health care

Make it more expensive to develop productive land than to raze and rebuild

Amend our infallible constitution to guarantee a sustainable environment

Implement policy to maintain large portions of all our ecosystems intact

Build everything better than it has to be and make things which can be repaired

Reward companies which add more features while increasing efficiency

Face up to the fact that over-population is our single biggest problem

Train all would-be parents and require a license for every single child

Measure and tax non-point pollution releases from our vehicles and homes

Make abortion a non-issue with mandatory contraceptives and parent licensing

Help bind our country together by making English our official language

Make sure everyone learns at least one second tongue

Get the prisoners working on water, sewer, road and bridge projects

Scan package ids to your account and get billed if convicts pick it up for you

Drop the pathetic fantasy that man exists apart from nature and the animals

Stop using expensive resources to grow cattle cereal crops they cannot even digest

Stop fattening livestock on human-edible grain in grimy, deathcamp feedlots

Clean up, humanize and sanctify our filthy, shameful slaughterhouses

Legalize, regulate and tax the herb and monitor individual usage

Let citizens have all the weapons of the army or only hunting firearms

Tax executives based on how much more they make than their workers

Teach parents to foster educational excellence, like our Asian immigrants

Issue tamper-proof national ID cards using biometric identifiers

Track alcohol consumption and tax it based on increasing individual use

Tax gasoline usage at the pump based on income, MPG and miles driven

Dump this bullshit electoral college nonsense before the next election

License, tax, protect and insure temporary immigrant workers

Implant chips into undocumented aliens and expel them without exception

Levy stiff fines based on revenue against companies hiring illegal residents

Stop the farce of children born here to illegales automatically being citizens

End the gender-based glass ceiling and dismantle the good old boy network

Ignore those who want both equal rights and for men to hold the doors for them

Admit that it is impossible to be both a driven executive and a good parent

Stop dumping workers at 50 as their retirement age and life expectancy increase

Tax and regulate religion like any other franchised corporate Ponzi scheme

Stop giving foreign aid via jobs and imports in the guise of globalization

End evangelistic, ill-considered and poorly-executed cowboy foreign policy

Quit blaming the schools for the ignorance and laziness of our own children

Make the overweight pay more for large portions of fat-laden food and drink

Realize that water and sanitation engineers do more for health than doctors

Tax the crap out of that so-called “gaming industry” vampire

Monitor and treat chronic gamblers while automatically limiting their losses

Eliminate such careers as professional politician and corporate lobbyist

Legalize prostitution and put all the exploiting pimps out of business

Stop denying them contraception and then ignoring their unwanted children

Make all parties responsible for mandatory recycling of packaging and worn-out items

Question pesticides, herbicides, fertilizers and irrigation with fossil water

Out incompetent, suck-up, kick-down managers who flit from job to job

Internationally regulate and enforce sustainable ocean harvests

End realtor percentage commissions, phony closing costs and fake finance charges

Become a brother to Russia and forge unbreakable bonds with Europe

Promote organic, biologically-controlled agriculture to save energy and our soils

Tax beef fed exportable grain and enjoy cheaper, leaner free-range steaks

Promote efficient agricultural usage by making water far more expensive

Ensure everyone has a grasp and appreciation of the technologies that support them

Strive for a civilization that thrives while maintaining a healthy biosphere

Clean up our urban waters and confine jet skis to these areas

Make our dumps nice enough to restrict ATVs, 4WDs and dirt bikes to them

Change our pledge to say “One nation under god and a part of the global ecosphere”

Stop importing oil and isolate the sheiks until they get their shit together

Foster green home energy generation and sharing via the existing grid

Tax the shit out of prescription anti-aging products and cosmetic surgery

Ensure all our lakes and rivers are clean enough for fish and drinking water

Wean the black man away from violence, drugs, prison and early death

Keep firearms available but make ammunition very expensive…and traceable

Maintain a sense of humor regarding all of our beliefs and actions

Get god out of the government that’s supposedly by and for the people

Stop pitting science against religion and twisting research to political ends

Build homes to last for centuries and keep farmland healthy forever by law

Bring back the wild salmon runs on both coasts as a measure of our progress

Quit being spray-painted and filled with toxic chemicals for overpriced funerals

Teach so that corporate beer, bread, fast food and fatty factory snacks disappear

Enforce a constitutional right to privacy or implant us all with microchips

Realize that an idling 300 horsepower engine is not a personal air-conditioner

Make billions on desalinization, CO2 reduction and alternative energy innovations

Stop the insidious takeover of our land via subsidized illegal immigration

Drop the self-appointed roles of righteous sheriff and preacher to the world

Instead of buying, breaking and burying - Master repair, reuse and recycling

Make a stint in the military or the Peace Corp mandatory and universal

Eliminate all smoking-related health benefits for every tobacco user

Fine those who piously intone “God Bless America” after a political speech

Devise and use a computer program which maintains fair voting districts

Dump that lame Star Spangled Banner in favor of America the Beautiful

Create vast wildlife reserves on the Great Plains and bring on safari tourism

Erase the physical and psychological borders between us and the Canadians

Force our so-called visionary business “leaders” to see beyond the next Quarter

Ensure that the whales and dolphins retain viable and healthy populations

Give the gays their rights but keep them off parade floats in grape holders

Clean up coal mining and burning to provide good jobs and clean energy

Do not permit the latino to take over this country via welfare and crime

Get the corporations and professional managers off of our precious farms

Just build automobiles as good as Hondas and Toyotas or simply go bankrupt

End dependence on slave Chinese peasant factory labor for the basics of life

Admit that the main problem in social security is “Pay as you go” spending

End omnibus spending bills and re-legalize the line item veto

Own up to and repent for the foolish, tragic, costly, wasteful Iraq debacle

Atone for our sins in Haiti, Guatemala, Chile, Cuba, San Salvador, et al

Judge ourselves annually on how well we manage our ecological trust for the future

De-emphasize sports and find ways to reward academics and human services

Don’t insure and rebuild in flooded areas - Make them into parks and farms

End the lost, stupid, expensive, alienating, destructive “War on Drugs”

Do not permit the poor and ignorant a higher birthrate than the educated

Make ranchers maintain the ecosystem and end their welfare on our public lands

Embrace sustainability over artificially-induced, non-maintainable growth

Have all the children learn world geography, culture, history and religions

Resurrect the engineering that gave us the Apollo and space shuttle projects

Reprogram society such that fast food and Hollywood simply wither

Add a purchase surtax to loud, redneck exhaust systems based on decibels produced

Get our infants and seniors out of the hands of the uncaring immigrant poor

Realize that if the old are irrelevant that our own lives are most certainly meaningless

Keep track of all the time you save and see if you really ever get to spend it

Slap down overpriced plumbers, mechanics and the like by doing more for yourself

Terminate all government and military retirement plans immediately

Break the foolish seed, fertilize, poison, water, cut the stupid grass cycle

Pay more as your trash increases per person instead of less by volume

Save remaining fossil fuel reserves for unforeseeable future emergencies

Ensure that children know why religions are invented and how they evolve

Help Africa finally find its own way out of poverty, squalor, war and disease

Make sure we all know where and how our food and energy are produced

Cast off the “chosen people” delusion and wonder at our vast and lucky fortune

Quickly explore fast breeder thorium reactor technology for clean, bountiful energy

Change our bloated, wasteful consumption ethic along with our fuel sources

De-institutionalize and abandon our two entrenched and fossilized political parties

Face head on the unpalatable fact that money controls the electoral process

Recognize that government tax policy is increasing economic stratification

End the myth that blindly satisfying greed guides us toward a better society

Show us the dead civilians, enemy fighters, our own casualties and their families

Cut out the disgusting, convoluted, spaghetti-like tumor that is our tax code

Stop rewarding their tired ‘merge and cut 20% of jobs for bonuses’ Corpro nonsense

Restore and preserve our precious wetlands and marine estuaries, for Christ’s sake

Halve the average time and energy wasted on useless commuting every day

Stop government’s growth strategy of competing for taxes from new malls

Achieve a sustainable 50% reduction in world population within 50 years

Automatically turn off the outside lights at night when there is no motion

Study Comparative Religion right up there along with Creative Writing

Make sure that every person is sensitive to shame or put them in therapy

Get fresh water from the sea and consume with far less waste

Help the handicapped, but do not transform the entire world in their image

Nurture smaller numbers children like the precious and finite resource they must be

Reward questioning the arbitrary, the capricious, the irrational and the dogmatic

Instill faith and morals even though our struggle is unending and un-winnable

Teach people to retain focus despite the rapid blur of their fleeting lives

Instill a notion of our short moment on the earth relative to the age of the universe

Preserve the remaining indigenous populations as reservoirs of knowledge

Stop ‘Local Control’ from meaning outsiders buy out, build, sell and then leave

Drop the exceptionist world cop role and take the lowest profile possible

End the archaic, hypocritical insanity of government-backed religious wars

Realize we can learn as much from our mistakes as from our lucky guesses

Set musicians and writers loose from the parasitical media conglomerates

Quit blowing one foolish and wasteful speculative bubble after another

Drop the lie that we are safer if we all drive clumsy, over-priced, tank-like monsters

Waste no more money on impossible missile defense from invisible enemies

Move Israel away and then quarantine the terrorists with Allah, out in the desert

End the myth that economic progress is dependent upon environmental devastation

Teach everyone the dangers and symptoms of fanaticism in all of its forms

Freely and openly question the basics of democracy, capitalism, religion and freedom