Left-Wing Initiatives That Threaten The Homeland

‘Left-Wing Democrats 'Resent The Idea of America Being Great' Limbaugh to Hannity on Fox News

Throw out the tax code, re-invigorate the EPA, tax garbage by the pound

Wake the drugged children, challenge the old folks, save instead of spend

Lose some weight, read a few books, stop fiddling with that pointless lawn

Outlaw the too big to fail, legalize the herb, pass taxes on all forms of noise

Dismantle the cubicles, recycle all the SUVs, tax every religious franchise

Don’t sell the president, fire all the representatives, un-constipate the senate

Learn about history, admit our mistakes, grow stronger quietly here at home

Re-invent the corporation, stone the faceless CEOs, forget funeral homes

Clean the rivers, re-invigorate the forests, take back our farmlands

Stop torturing our meat, quit idolizing greed, read, write and count proudly

Blow off Christmas spending, don’t give her diamonds, fuck Valentine’s Day

De-commission real estate, don’t get a new car every year, cook at home

Pay them not to have kids, lynch political advisors, end the 2 party system

Isolate the Middle East, join the world community, govern the US in English

Ignore cowboy evangelicals, quit wasting water, burn little coal but very cleanly

Don’t jerk off in power boats, blow up those jet skis, cripple all the ATVs

Quiet the airplanes, bring back the salmon, don’t let it get so goddamn hot

Cut 90% from the military, quit get-rich-quick scheming, end credit card debt

Ignore Hollywood lives, abolish career politicians, eradicate the lobbyists

Fix the roads, tie their tubes, bring back Yankee ingenuity and engineering

Reduce our population, close the feedlots, enough with the pesticides, already

Preserve the wetlands, out the damn CIA, stop fattening up like show hogs

End reliance on China, don’t build 300 hp hybrids, ban pus-like white bread

Control the tourist industry, curb resort developers, don’t sell off our forests

Make the miners clean up, get ranchers off welfare, end tobacco supports

Build wildlife corridors, create Great Plains National Park, integrate the natives

Get the blacks out of prison, end the war on drugs, stop this firearms farce

Sustain and maintain, build it to last and be fixed, halt the obesity epidemic

Stop multinationals stripmining the oceans, give a little time, slash executive pay

Provide health insurance, get energy independent, either raise kids or work

End government pensions, support our troops, shun current so-called leaders

Put solar and wind on every roof, quit making bogeymen, reduce college tuition

Tax real-estate speculation, wipe out Californication, to hell with Viagra

Promote getting rich slowly, bring back the wolf, save the amphibians

Rethink the megalopolis, adjust to the ecosystem, don’t go off killing for god

Luxury tax botox and liposuction, legalize and regulate prostitution, license all parents

Close corporate nursing homes, institutionalize suicide, don’t get too much sun

Sanctify the slaughterhouses, enjoy lots of exercise, reduce commutes by 25%

Go to jail for hiring illegales, use open source voting machines, end acid rain

Just ignore flag desecration, treat all gods equally, laugh or get on therapy

Don’t legislate morality, don’t think only in sound bites, be quiet when you can

Heavily tax littered items, rethink soft drinks, take time out from the blur

Eat whole grains and nuts, don’t torture dairy cows, end social promotions

Can the music executives, let kids ride their bikes, quit playing world sheriff

Don’t make noise for fun, know our enemies well, demand a sustainable lifestyle

Prevent before curing, plan instead of reacting, think before speaking

Don’t live as corporate sheep, work with your hands, look deep within

Ignore the silly fireworks, maintain the ecosystem, give up a little convenience

Question all wars, don’t work just for vacation, live such that our elders are wise

Turn off the night lights, question the scientists, expose the theologians

Don’t watch corporate news, flog your own blog, get up before sunrise

Listen to the birds, ban shrink wrap, don’t elect any more goddamn lawyers

Let the desert reclaim Las Vegas, bind with the Europeans, always eat together

Recognize real leaders, enjoy the rain, don’t make every place handicap accessible

Quit worshiping money, avoid prescriptions and surgery, cultivate common sense

Privatize abortion, get over getting older, always be learning something new

Maintain your skills, know several languages, quit being so crudely and loudly gay

Encourage organics, organize electronically, quit being afraid to amend the constitution

Be proud of clean air, jail animal abusers, sell the Harley before it’s too late

Cut the fatty foods, don’t speak with one voice, make sense for yourself

Don’t grow fat and weak, learn other religions, travel widely and listen

Undermine globalization, surround the rivers with cleansing trees, listen to the thunder

Understand ethnic conflict, take care of your teeth, don’t export weapons

Curb the Pentagon, make flood zones into parks, cut off their dumb neckties

Join efficiency with comfort, don’t subsidize corn syrup, clean up our lakes

Don’t tax break Big Timber, silence the diesels, untangle the conglomerates

Reject cultural imperialism, know how to do the math, wake up the Texans

Quite jiggering voting districts, downsize big sports, play your own music

Realize that golf and golf courses suck, ban tanning salons, love more than you hate

Re-invent nursing homes, watch as people die, obtain your own basic medical skills

Know when to shut up, carefully consider your opinions, enjoy the quiet rain

Question your everlasting soul, know your priorities, don’t eat in your car

Get off of the cellphone, turn down your music, buy on the internet at home

Screw expensive weddings, walk, run, paddle, bicycle, sail, board and ski

Reduce your footprint, know yourself, organize your thoughts, keep still often

Follow the money, don’t buy the oft-repeated lie, consume within reason

Count those given up looking as unemployed, add a 50% gas tax, learn to sleep

Invest Social Security taxes, get out of the Middle East, penalize outsourcing

Stop subsidizing terrorists, don’t try to buy your kid’s friendship, just listen a little

End the dental scam, throw away the cigarettes, don’t idle in those stupid trucks

File the bible under fiction, chainsaw the billboards, talk with the Cetaceans

Globalize the power grid, don’t sell land mines, end chemical warfare

Encourage organics, subsidize solar research, decrease the human population

Look at the war dead, appreciate clean water, just admit your stupid mistakes

Relearn manufacturing, let fossilized automakers die, simply ignore the NFL

Just shut the fuck up, step away from the vehicle, welcome death in its time

Downsize your houses, ban omnibus bills, don’t ever take a single payday loan

Renew your faith, empty the mega-churches, don’t ever demand that ‘God Bless America’

Flag-Waving Nationalists

Self-sacrificing petroleum patriots offer to brave so-called arctic wastelands

          to harvest the oil beneath its unproductive surface

This to help us to gain our vital energy independence and for export, as well

Drilling for god and country they can bring us a few sips

          to be guzzled and forgotten on one of our many wasteful, unnecessary trips

and take away forever anyone's chances

          to ever see one more of the few remaining bits of unspoiled habitat

Wise patriots tell us of our duty to consume

          and to ride in ever larger vehicles to the newest malls

and of the moral value of imported plastic decal flags upon our foreign cars

Caring patriots protect our economy from junk scientific theories

          Knowing conservation is simply a lifestyle choice, much like being gay

Their wisdom protects us from expensive action until all the facts are in

          They nobly save us money and jobs from that liberal plot

they have recast as climate change

Industry-oriented patriotic lobbyists draft policy with wise company executives

          Making sure to grease the skids of progress with cash contributions

Thus do we move forward in this land of faith-based democracy

          By-invitation-only, laboring in secret behind safely closed and soundproof doors

Practical patriots discern the nonsense in scientific discourse

          And lead the way in discrediting studies counter to their policies

using the twin lodestones of moral beliefs and campaign donations

          Framing the discourse of scientific research as a political debate

Helping our dumbed-down people to grasp the complex issues that we face

Morally focused patriots justify their actions with their faith

          Having god beside them on the podium grants them an otherwise-lacking inner strength

enabling them to distinguish black from white by casting out the gray

          Leaving them with unshakeable faith in the righteousness of their cause

Pontificating patriots should be listened to as they describe our many enemies

          Never asking us to examine our own hallowed lifestyles

Never questioning the correctness of the great causes which we champion

Militarily-oriented patriots ensure we are ready for overwhelming pre-emptive defense

          Annually stoking the war machine with ever-increasing billions

Ready to defend shopping malls against the incoming missiles

          Unable to capture disheveled ragheads in dirty clothes and sandals living in caves

Perceptive patriots help us to discern the truth from all the lies

          the right thing from devilish left-wing deception,

The righteousness of the measured and true course that we follow

          from the godless rhetoric of the heathen foreign idolaters

Great patriots, after consulting their moral compasses, inform us that

          we are either with them or, at our own great peril, against them

and that God blesses our lofty moral rectitude as he smiles down upon us

Responsible patriots trip over each other adopting tougher stances

          Each boasting how they will spend more money to kill and to destroy

Pumping up the bogeyman who wants to eat the children in your homes

          And exalting a ‘Defense’ budget greater than the entire world combined

True patriots free up our natural resources for holy commercial development

          protecting us from the evils of a pernicious creeping socialism

Let us thank them for the steadfast nature of this selfless vigilance

Larger than life patriots smile down upon us from all forms of the media,

          Guaranteed a place in our collective heart

Promoted by those wise contributing conglomerates

who provide all the information a good society should ever need

Discredited patriots no longer play roles in our wondrous progress

          Their actions erased from soundbite media history

At least until their party swings into power once again

Patriotic analytical wonks tell us that business profitability is increased

          and prices lowered by cutting benefits and outsourcing jobs overseas

while, at the same time, arguing just as strongly, it appears

          that increasing energy efficiency and improving conservation

are simply non-factors with regards to the economy of our great society

Corporate patriots help steer the ship of state

          Bravely offshoring ingredients and keeping wages low

Signing memoranda sending research and production overseas

          Stoutly maintaining the hallowed nature of free enterprise

by pumping up the price of their stock for yet another whole quarter

          thus ensuring more criminally-unearned multi-million dollar bonuses

Down home patriots drive loud pickups and watch NASCAR on TV

          Take their lessons from the bible and don’t read too goddamn much

They defend their rights to ignorance and a share of our forests

          They responsibly vote for those who raised their taxes,

helped un-insure them and approved sending their jobs far away

What Is True Conservatism?

De-regulating giant financial entities which are driven only by their overpowering greed

Then stepping in with bailouts to produce inflation along with a recession

or instead, keeping a watchful eye upon those prone to selfish and childlike excesses

drilling unproductive wilderness and coastline for our tragicomic SUVs

          or saving some of that resource for later by buying it from others

as we scramble all available resources to gain a sustainable energy independence

subsidizing mass production to mono-crop our forests and our fields

          or carefully tending to the mystic diversity that we owe to the future

silting up streams and choking off salmon with corporate dams and logging

          or minding that watersheds stay clean and intact for future harvests

encouraging corporations to develop filthy aquaculture mass production

          or preserving our clean water and diversity of species

for the unknown needs of generations that might even yet be born

promoting the impersonal short-term, stock price-based corporate agriculture agenda

          or subsidizing the real stewardship of our precious native soils

with the oft-mouthed, constantly trampled values of Traditional Family Farmers

letting teenagers keep having children because it is a god-given right & abortion is a sin

          or licensing would-be parents via stiff examinations

lecturing fourth generation single mothers on the morality of abstinence

          or providing timely family intervention to break this pathetic cycle

incarcerating without tolerance ever more criminals raised without hope

teaching them real crime in prison and then setting them free upon our streets

             or seeking to identify and correct their problems at very early ages

funding local governments through cutthroat sales tax competition

over cheap, unplanned, unsustainable retail and housing development

or setting thoughtful long-term policy and implementing it through taxation

being forced by threat of being viewed as unpatriotically unelectable

to condone spending ever more billions on the military,

to combat a bogeyman who melts away somewhere into dusty, poverty-filled shadows

or investing at home in our own education, environment, agriculture,

energy needs, jobs, national debt and crumbling infrastructure

insisting that might makes right and that god is on our side

          or listening attentively to those considered opinions of

our European allies, who also happen to descend from our own very forefathers

electing professional, multi-generational politicians

who trade on their names and grow rich from their contacts

or promoting the Jeffersonian ideal of timely and limited service

to one's country as a matter of civic duty

tolerating a putrid mass of strangling tax code spaghetti

created by and for parasite lawyers and bloodsucking accountants

or making taxes lucid, reasonable, understandable and fair

opening up more of our forests for corporate timber and the obese on ATVs

          or diligently looking to preserve what little remains for the future

enriching puppet so-called royal families in their fly-plagued desert homes

          or severing all our relations through alternative energy sources

paying conglomerates to brew biofuel using up more energy than it makes

          or incepting grid-connected solar and wind power on every roof

allowing coal burning plants to increase their mountain-top destroying, mercury-laden,

horizon-obscuring, asthma-inducing, cancer-causing emissions

or subsidizing truly clean coal and fast breeder thorium reactor development

while systematically closing the oldest and dirtiest of the plants

making government smaller and ever more responsive

          or creating the largest bureaucracy ever seen by man

under the sacrosanct euphemism known as Homeland Security

subsidizing corporate agriculture while preaching of free trade

          or publicly calling out the bastards who ruin the land

with their fossil water mining, sewage lagoons, pesticides, fertilizer & antibiotic overuse

as they weave elaborate tax scams to increase their bonuses

allowing nightmare mega-scale domestic animal concentration camps

to pollute the country’s water with their foul fecal runoff

or ensuring that food production does not ruin our dwindling water supply

encouraging our companies to send engineering, research and information technology

positions overseas forever by citing the inevitability of global competition

or realizing that such services are imported straight back here

and that any developed nation must provide them for itself

letting faceless executives whose only goal is short term stock prices

set policy and retire inside locked compounds clutching obscene unearned bonuses

or demanding a wisdom and a vision beyond mere grasping business acumen

smiling as corporate leaders walk away rich, righteous and free

leaving us to adjust to the reality of a global standard of poverty

or holding them responsible for the debts they have placed upon our children

ensuring americans that their greatest patriotic duty is simply to keep shopping

and that hypnotized consumption is a fundamentalist value

or extolling the virtues of thrift and financial independence

while setting an example by keeping government spending within reason

creating the largest government deficit in all of mankind’s history

          or cutting back thoughtfully during difficult and trying times

demanding that foreigners buy our probably safe, genetically-modified corporate seed

          or working closely together to try and end the world's growing hunger

telling your allies that they are either with you or against you

          or striving for consensus and working together towards a shared future

refusing to sign a global ban on the sick foolishness of chemical warfare

          or leading the world in such a worthwhile crusade

ignoring greenhouse gases and treaties meant to stem their steady growth

          or pioneering profitable methods to deal with this global problem

relaxing pollution standards for the waters of our lakes and streams

          or making them safe to swim in for both the fish and for our kids

deciding that americans are above the laws of any world court

and applying sanctions to others who might be co-operating

or working together on a judicial system which works for the entire planet

refusing to support the international banning of brutal land mines

and continuing their production and export to one and all

or helping farmers and their children to avoid artificial legs and even worse

withholding funding for agencies providing birth control education

          or giving families in overpopulated lands already full of poverty

the ability to choose wisely, just for themselves

turning our national parks over to overpriced corporate property managers

          or keeping profit margins far away from the places

we have been entrusted to pass on to our future generations

interpreting world population growth as a threat to our national security

and determining to respond by increasing our unsustainable numbers

or working to design a rich and sustainable future

for a smaller and far less destructive human footprint

constructing maximally cheap with minimum environmental concern

          or building green with the aim of creating structures actually meant to last

discarding all wrappers, packaging, newspapers, aluminum and glass

since we paid for them and nobody is paying us not to throw them out

or reusing these things to let our children enjoy them as cheaply as we did

spreading the lie that economic growth continues at high rates forever

and burying generations to come beneath the debt of our tax cuts

or crafting a steady-state model that leaves as much as we enjoy today

for those existing beyond the laughably short quarterly horizon we now foresee

being laid off impersonally by some inhumane organization

as a discretionary expense, to be reduced merely to increase stock valuation

just to win a sickeningly large annual bonus for one’s so-called talents

or co-operatively reducing your salary maybe working part-time for a while,

at a place where you might even envision that there could be a future

         

touting free market worship while striving to build totalitarian oligopolies

and labeling any criticisms as socialist, unpatriotic and simply weak

or evolving capitalism to meet the needs of all humanity

aboard this one small blue space capsule that we simply must learn to share

trying to control fast-evolving pests by broadcasting long-lasting poisons

on food crops being raised to sell to your mothers and their children

or finding ways to control these long-term problems

more safely, cheaply and sustainably within the unforgiving laws of nature

encouraging lame urban cowboys to modify their motorcycles and trucks

to leave even more noise in their wasteful and infantile wakes

or enforcing simple common sense when the freedom to make empty noise

clashes with the right to natural peace and sublime quiet

allowing big media to set the body politic agenda via slick repetition

of stocks, entertainment, sports and government propaganda

mixed with 24 minutes per hour of higher volume commercials

and staged combat debates centered upon vital non-issues

or thoughtfully considering personal and national priorities

in reasoned discussion from a thousand different outlets

building the same tacky strip mall packages and

identical cheap convenience store setups at every new intersection

from border to border at the lowest possible costs

or searching for some kind of vision beyond mere stocks and profits

from some wiser group of men than these negligent but rich so-called leaders

whose legacy is greedy scheming behind closed boardroom doors

spinning, staying on message, gaining traction and shoutingly-managing the issues

          or publicly learning from mistakes, incorporating other points of view

and seeking involvement in quietly ongoing, open and non-poisonous debates

permitting contributory corporations to buy up all the media outlets

to serve up the same vapid, franchised media in every town and city

          or nurturing the plurality in our forgotten motto, 'e pluribus unum'

praising the virtues of democratic elections

while buying them with donations to be paid back with favors

or simply admitting that, under our current system, elections are about the money

and evolving our institutions to reinstate the ideals of the past

scornfully belittling science when it conflicts with well-scripted policies

already bought and paid for by corporate payoffs

or adopting the scientific method for rationally and fairly dealing with many

of our most pressing technical issues

invoking the lie of local control to grant outside developers unlimited power

permitting them to rend without foresight, planning or responsibility

or providing coordinated overviews for states, regions and the nation

to ensure a way of life that might even last a thousand years

counseling third world countries to preserve their so precious ecosystems

after having shattered our own and been proven unwilling to restore it

or providing a reality-based example of the benefits of conservation

and then profitably selling related goods and services to the world

touting the benefits of education while marginalizing scientists and

academia quietly through policy and openly in the corporate media

or respecting the educated as our best model for future progress

and our most precious current human capital

searching out the violent and the mindless in pleasure and entertainment

          or seeking enlightenment in the precious little free time we are granted

before we return to cold ashes and thin dust once again

expressing your true inner self via clothes, houses, cars and expensive vacations

          or searching for meaning through study and contemplation         

never saving and then demanding that government pay for your retirement

          or living within your means and laying out your own golden years far ahead

driving a 300 horsepower 4WD all by yourself an hour to work in a cube every day

          or leaving a smaller footprint on the earth and upon your descendants

issuing signing statements and underfunding enforcement agencies

          or impartially enforcing our laws per constitutional responsibility

paying ever more at toney restaurants until the last trendy seafood species

disappears from every ocean

or having the merest shred of common sense to at least leave

a viable breeding populations intact in the wild

ignoring the anonymous industrial holocaust-style production of your meat

          or consuming with forethought about what goes into your body

and having respect for the sacrifice of these other living beings

eating industrial fast food prepared by low-paid strangers who despise you

          or cooking good food and sharing time at home

with the people who are always there to love and respect you

blindly believing in creationism while harshly scoffing at the infidels

        or structuring your beliefs within a framework of reason and good faith,

sprinkled with a measure of respect for the considered opinions of others

spinning drunkenly from one corporate co-opted fad to another

          or cultivating reasoned and explainable values for living

growing fatter and dumber and being a daily target of ridicule

          or growing older and wiser and providing valued counsel

getting botoxed, dyeing your hair, wearing heavy makeup and too much gold

or trying to come to terms with the end of your, so-far, wasted life

spending every evening flipping channels with your stagnating brain disengaged

          or facing the onrushing void for a moment with an unblinking third eye

Here's That Awful, UnHidden AntiFa Agenda

Stop this insane, ever-increasing spending on weapons, war and killing

Use war money in an all-out effort to obtain clean energy independence

End the spiraling costs of the phony charade called free market health care

Make it more expensive to develop productive land than to raze and rebuild

Amend our infallible constitution to guarantee a sustainable environment

Implement policy to maintain large portions of all our ecosystems intact

Build everything better than it has to be and make things which can be repaired

Reward companies which add more features while increasing efficiency

Face up to the fact that over-population is our single biggest problem

Train all would-be parents and require a license for every single child

Measure and tax non-point pollution releases from our vehicles and homes

Make abortion a non-issue with mandatory contraceptives and parent licensing

Help bind our country together by making English our official language

Make sure everyone learns at least one second tongue

Get the prisoners working on water, sewer, road and bridge projects

Scan package ids to your account and get billed if convicts pick it up for you

Drop the pathetic fantasy that man exists apart from nature and the animals

Stop using expensive resources to grow cattle cereal crops they cannot even digest

Stop fattening livestock on human-edible grain in grimy, deathcamp feedlots

Clean up, humanize and sanctify our filthy, shameful slaughterhouses

Legalize, regulate and tax the herb and monitor individual usage

Let citizens have all the weapons of the army or only hunting firearms

Tax executives based on how much more they make than their workers

Teach parents to foster educational excellence, like our Asian immigrants

Issue tamper-proof national ID cards using biometric identifiers

Track alcohol consumption and tax it based on increasing individual use

Tax gasoline usage at the pump based on income, MPG and miles driven

Dump this bullshit electoral college nonsense before the next election

License, tax, protect and insure temporary immigrant workers

Implant chips into undocumented aliens and expel them without exception

Levy stiff fines based on revenue against companies hiring illegal residents

Stop the farce of children born here to illegales automatically being citizens

End the gender-based glass ceiling and dismantle the good old boy network

Ignore those who want both equal rights and for men to hold the doors for them

Admit that it is impossible to be both a driven executive and a good parent

Stop dumping workers at 50 as their retirement age and life expectancy increase

Tax and regulate religion like any other franchised corporate Ponzi scheme

Stop giving foreign aid via jobs and imports in the guise of globalization

End evangelistic, ill-considered and poorly-executed cowboy foreign policy

Quit blaming the schools for the ignorance and laziness of our own children

Make the overweight pay more for large portions of fat-laden food and drink

Realize that water and sanitation engineers do more for health than doctors

Tax the crap out of that so-called “gaming industry” vampire

Monitor and treat chronic gamblers while automatically limiting their losses

Eliminate such careers as professional politician and corporate lobbyist

Legalize prostitution and put all the exploiting pimps out of business

Stop denying them contraception and then ignoring their unwanted children

Make all parties responsible for mandatory recycling of packaging and worn-out items

Question pesticides, herbicides, fertilizers and irrigation with fossil water

Out incompetent, suck-up, kick-down managers who flit from job to job

Internationally regulate and enforce sustainable ocean harvests

End realtor percentage commissions, phony closing costs and fake finance charges

Become a brother to Russia and forge unbreakable bonds with Europe

Promote organic, biologically-controlled agriculture to save energy and our soils

Tax beef fed exportable grain and enjoy cheaper, leaner free-range steaks

Promote efficient agricultural usage by making water far more expensive

Ensure everyone has a grasp and appreciation of the technologies that support them

Strive for a civilization that thrives while maintaining a healthy biosphere

Clean up our urban waters and confine jet skis to these areas

Make our dumps nice enough to restrict ATVs, 4WDs and dirt bikes to them

Change our pledge to say “One nation under god and a part of the global ecosphere”

Stop importing oil and isolate the sheiks until they get their shit together

Foster green home energy generation and sharing via the existing grid

Tax the shit out of prescription anti-aging products and cosmetic surgery

Ensure all our lakes and rivers are clean enough for fish and drinking water

Wean the black man away from violence, drugs, prison and early death

Keep firearms available but make ammunition very expensive…and traceable

Maintain a sense of humor regarding all of our beliefs and actions

Get god out of the government that’s supposedly by and for the people

Stop pitting science against religion and twisting research to political ends

Build homes to last for centuries and keep farmland healthy forever by law

Bring back the wild salmon runs on both coasts as a measure of our progress

Quit being spray-painted and filled with toxic chemicals for overpriced funerals

Teach so that corporate beer, bread, fast food and fatty factory snacks disappear

Enforce a constitutional right to privacy or implant us all with microchips

Realize that an idling 300 horsepower engine is not a personal air-conditioner

Make billions on desalinization, CO2 reduction and alternative energy innovations

Stop the insidious takeover of our land via subsidized illegal immigration

Drop the self-appointed roles of righteous sheriff and preacher to the world

Instead of buying, breaking and burying - Master repair, reuse and recycling

Make a stint in the military or the Peace Corp mandatory and universal

Eliminate all smoking-related health benefits for every tobacco user

Fine those who piously intone “God Bless America” after a political speech

Devise and use a computer program which maintains fair voting districts

Dump that lame Star Spangled Banner in favor of America the Beautiful

Create vast wildlife reserves on the Great Plains and bring on safari tourism

Erase the physical and psychological borders between us and the Canadians

Force our so-called visionary business “leaders” to see beyond the next Quarter

Ensure that the whales and dolphins retain viable and healthy populations

Give the gays their rights but keep them off parade floats in grape holders

Clean up coal mining and burning to provide good jobs and clean energy

Do not permit the latino to take over this country via welfare and crime

Get the corporations and professional managers off of our precious farms

Just build automobiles as good as Hondas and Toyotas or simply go bankrupt

End dependence on slave Chinese peasant factory labor for the basics of life

Admit that the main problem in social security is “Pay as you go” spending

End omnibus spending bills and re-legalize the line item veto

Own up to and repent for the foolish, tragic, costly, wasteful Iraq debacle

Atone for our sins in Haiti, Guatemala, Chile, Cuba, San Salvador, et al

Judge ourselves annually on how well we manage our ecological trust for the future

De-emphasize sports and find ways to reward academics and human services

Don’t insure and rebuild in flooded areas - Make them into parks and farms

End the lost, stupid, expensive, alienating, destructive “War on Drugs”

Do not permit the poor and ignorant a higher birthrate than the educated

Make ranchers maintain the ecosystem and end their welfare on our public lands

Embrace sustainability over artificially-induced, non-maintainable growth

Have all the children learn world geography, culture, history and religions

Resurrect the engineering that gave us the Apollo and space shuttle projects

Reprogram society such that fast food and Hollywood simply wither

Add a purchase surtax to loud, redneck exhaust systems based on decibels produced

Get our infants and seniors out of the hands of the uncaring immigrant poor

Realize that if the old are irrelevant that our own lives are most certainly meaningless

Keep track of all the time you save and see if you really ever get to spend it

Slap down overpriced plumbers, mechanics and the like by doing more for yourself

Terminate all government and military retirement plans immediately

Break the foolish seed, fertilize, poison, water, cut the stupid grass cycle

Pay more as your trash increases per person instead of less by volume

Save remaining fossil fuel reserves for unforeseeable future emergencies

Ensure that children know why religions are invented and how they evolve

Help Africa finally find its own way out of poverty, squalor, war and disease

Make sure we all know where and how our food and energy are produced

Cast off the “chosen people” delusion and wonder at our vast and lucky fortune

Quickly explore fast breeder thorium reactor technology for clean, bountiful energy

Change our bloated, wasteful consumption ethic along with our fuel sources

De-institutionalize and abandon our two entrenched and fossilized political parties

Face head on the unpalatable fact that money controls the electoral process

Recognize that government tax policy is increasing economic stratification

End the myth that blindly satisfying greed guides us toward a better society

Show us the dead civilians, enemy fighters, our own casualties and their families

Cut out the disgusting, convoluted, spaghetti-like tumor that is our tax code

Stop rewarding their tired ‘merge and cut 20% of jobs for bonuses’ Corpro nonsense

Restore and preserve our precious wetlands and marine estuaries, for Christ’s sake

Halve the average time and energy wasted on useless commuting every day

Stop government’s growth strategy of competing for taxes from new malls

Achieve a sustainable 50% reduction in world population within 50 years

Automatically turn off the outside lights at night when there is no motion

Study Comparative Religion right up there along with Creative Writing

Make sure that every person is sensitive to shame or put them in therapy

Get fresh water from the sea and consume with far less waste

Help the handicapped, but do not transform the entire world in their image

Nurture smaller numbers children like the precious and finite resource they must be

Reward questioning the arbitrary, the capricious, the irrational and the dogmatic

Instill faith and morals even though our struggle is unending and un-winnable

Teach people to retain focus despite the rapid blur of their fleeting lives

Instill a notion of our short moment on the earth relative to the age of the universe

Preserve the remaining indigenous populations as reservoirs of knowledge

Stop ‘Local Control’ from meaning outsiders buy out, build, sell and then leave

Drop the exceptionist world cop role and take the lowest profile possible

End the archaic, hypocritical insanity of government-backed religious wars

Realize we can learn as much from our mistakes as from our lucky guesses

Set musicians and writers loose from the parasitical media conglomerates

Quit blowing one foolish and wasteful speculative bubble after another

Drop the lie that we are safer if we all drive clumsy, over-priced, tank-like monsters

Waste no more money on impossible missile defense from invisible enemies

Move Israel away and then quarantine the terrorists with Allah, out in the desert

End the myth that economic progress is dependent upon environmental devastation

Teach everyone the dangers and symptoms of fanaticism in all of its forms

Freely and openly question the basics of democracy, capitalism, religion and freedom