You Could Be

Reinventing Ourselves

You could become a mechanical engineer

          but wait, those jobs are going off to India to save money for GE

You could become a financial analyst

          but, christ, those positions have long gone overseas

You could get trained in civil engineering but roads are just roads the world over

and foreigners do the same work without the half your overhead

You could do software programming but you were not born and raised in Bangalore

and Americans are too expensive to work in the trendy new age India

You could get your MBA and go off into management

          but all the lower middle managers got RIF'd and became so-called consultants

or work from somewhere else, far away in different timezones

You could study electrical engineering but unless you get on somewhere in china

it would have to remain just an entertaining hobby

         

You could become a carpenter, but the Mexicans can live on half what you do

8 to an apartment, and they don't even ask for no kind of stinkin benefits

You could become a physicist

          and be laughed at while working at some unrelated and menial task

You could train as a policeman, paramedic or maybe a valiant firefighter

          But, alas, you are too much a hands-off, head-down, pencil neck geek

You could morph into a salesman

          but you are not that type of ruthless, grasping, self-centered swine

You could study to be a production engineer

          Oh, but, that’s right, there are no more factories here

You could learn your biotech and genomes

          but big Pharma can save on R and D in the lands of barefoot people

to then spend more on marketing and their own lavish executive perqs

You could become a professor but why should foreigners come here to study

just to move right on back home where they can find the good jobs now

You could become a doctor competing with immigrants to treat for corporations

your decisions monitored and approved by offshore cost accountants

You could take up the honorable study of the law and learn to hate yourself

          like way too many others chasing ever fewer and even more dishonest dollars

you might become a petroleum geologist and help Exxon search for oil

          but 6 skinny Indians will work for what they would have to pay just you

         

you could bet on computer engineering but the only jobs would be in defense

building more things whose only purpose is death and mass destruction

you could study psychology and work in tech support

          but, oops, your job now exists only in Romania

you could become a mechanic, fixing banker's expensive cars

          but watch out for that foreigner who just agreed

to work without benefits for half as much as you could live on

you could open up a little place to deal in the intimacies of your longtime hobby

          and compete against the Fortune 500 bringing in all their stuff from China

you might become a farmer, to help to feed the people and preserve our soil

competing against faceless corporations receiving massive governmental subsidies

you could become a dentist, personable and well-groomed

          yet how many now can afford 150 bucks for five minutes of your precious time

you could become a plumber, driving an expensively loud and smoky new diesel

          but your customer base is shrinking as their lives are being downsized

you might consider truck driving, if your heart can take the extra weight,

the nicotine and the heavy doses of methamphetamines

you might like to be an accurate and competent staff accountant

          but your job is on computer and further analysis is done in foreign offices

maybe you could become a pure theoretical mathematician

          you will do your job out of love and have no need of real food or money

you could become a priest and help them try to spread their silly nonsense

          god certainly knows they need some kind of help, but you ladies need not apply

you could become a politician if your family has the background

          and your way was paid for at the best of schools

and you will sell out easily and often to those who pay for your elections

you could become an outright criminal if you lack the people skills for sales

or simply sell long-term care insurance to the frightened, sick and elderly

you could be a stock broker, shouting  loud and drinking hard,

          but the pump and dump to chump days may be already over

you could become one of our cadre of noble teachers

          and be laughed at and abused by the worthless offspring of the ignorant

yet not earn enough to be able to raise any children of your own

you could plan a career in nursing to nobly help the sick and wounded

          maybe spend your life working with angry filipinos

changing tubes and cleaning up under the old people rotting in their overpriced beds

you could grow up bagging groceries or working checkout down at WalMart

for these are the steady, good-paying jobs of today…and probably tomorrow

maybe you could study six years to become a pharmacist

then watch your job be put up on the internet

to be done by computers and low-skilled, contract labor

perhaps you aspire to a noble career in journalism

          save up for your plastic surgery, hair implants and reworked teeth

then practice your teleprompter skills in a mirror by the hour

you could train as an airline pilot by bombing primitive peoples into the stone age,

          then work for a low-cost airline earning seniority for many years

trying to stay awake while the computer flies the plane

make a career in financial planning and change your long-term advice every year

and try to take people’s money up front

for telling them to assume risks that you will never share

if you are interested in good old-fashioned public service

          think about a career as a legislative lobbyist

spreading cash, peddling influence and focusing senators on client’s legislation

imagine yourself as a powerful soccer mom,

          you could be chauffeuring tiny celebrities inside a posh mini-van

cultivating reasoned opinions about a world you live apart from

get yourself pregnant before dropping out of high school,

          live like a hoe, then make money like one, too

wind up in jail for a long spell, while your children grow up alone

try your hands at the fine arts or letters

          better learn to suck up to rich old women and gay connoisseurs

or maybe you could get a grant from the national endowment

          just don’t produce anything that’s too liberal for your evangelical congressman